Tuesday, November 3, 2009

just friends?

recently i have been thinking alot lately about dating and relationships, especially in regards to being "just friends" or more than friends.

for example, my friends kim and van just recently got married after dating for a little under a year. however, they had been friends for close to 3 years before they started dating. they randomly ended up kissing during our lake powell trip last year, and for a few weeks both denied that they liked each other, and they said that they were "just friends". really??

i dont think i believe in the whole "we're just friends" cop-out excuse. because in all reality, you're never just friends. there has to be some sort of attraction, or feelings between you two if youre hooking up with one another. and maybe it always ends up that one of the two involved has feelings, but the other doesn't. or maybe they both have feelings for one another, and they are afraid to bring it up in case the other doesn't want a relationship.

kind of seems like an endless cycle, until the one day that both realize they have feelings for one another and take the next step in their relationship. or they realize they are on different pages, and they end their little fling.

in kim and van's case, they finally admitted after a few months that they were in love... and now they are married happily! in other cases, someone may end up with a broken heart, and quite possibly a lost friendship. perhaps that is one of the main reasons friends try and stay "just friends" because they dont want to lose their friendship. but if you don't try and take a risk, then you'll live the rest of your life wondering what could have happened.

just some thoughts for you guys! xoxo

Friday, October 16, 2009

your move!

scenario: you're on a date, and it gets to the point in the night when you're "supposed" to kiss. this could be on a doorstep, or inside the front hall, or even on a couch after a movie is over. typically it is expected that the boy will make the first move, and kiss the girl. but... what if he doesn't? is it ok for a girl to make the move?

i decided to write about this in wake of a conversation i had with a few of my guy friends. my one friend in particular (we will refer to him as "M") was telling me that he NEVER makes the move with girls. i was shocked, because he is very attractive, and tons of girls like him. he actually even has a reputation for kissing quite a few girls (bless his little heart haha i love the kid!). so M has kissed all these girls, and says that he has actually only made the move himself with about 35% of them; the remaining girls have all kissed him. i was completely blown away! how does he get these girls to make the move? and i didnt think guys liked girls that did!
so is it ok for girls to make the move? i can honestly say i have only even made the move once.. and i was 19 years old and feeling pretty confident! needless to say the kid actually denied me in the most awkward way possible! (he put his hand up and stopped me!! can you just imagine how embarrassed i was!?) i've vowed to never make the move again, and i never have. i have a small understanding now of why guys get so nervous on first kisses too! being rejected is probably one of the worst feelings in the world too, because it completely cuts down your self-confidence momentarily to nothing!!
going back to my conversation with my friend M, i was curious how exactly he gets girls to kiss him, instead of vice versa. he said he sends out the "vibes" that he is interested in kissing the girl, but also picks up on subtle hints that girls send out that they are interested as well. M says that if you are cuddling with someone, this is like a gateway to kissing: its almost an automatic greenlight that this person wants to kiss you, and will. M also explained that there are other vibes that can be picked up on or sent out, such as : "tickling" the arms, face, and neck by lightly grazing the fingertips across the skin; putting chapstick on or bringing any attention to your lips (ie biting your bottom lip while talking, or looking at the other person's lips every so often when you are talking to them). M's theory (which he has apparently continued to prove) is that if you put out enough of the vibes, the other person will eventually kiss you. therefore, he gets these girls to kiss him, and he is off the hook with making the move.
at first i thought M was hilarious, and i joked around with him and we roleplayed each of the "vibes" that he explained. we may have been joking around with each other, but i started thinking about this whole conversation, and he is totally right! if you are to put out all the vibes, the other person will pick up on them (hopefully) and kiss you! that's exactly what i do when i am in these situations, because i will not make the move!
so, if any ladies are reading this, i would love to hear you opinions on this. do you ever make the move? or do you like to?? and guys, do you like girls to make the move?
that's all for today! love you all!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

What is a girl to do?

The typical love story: boy meets girl. they fall in love. they get married. blah blah blah.. happily ever after. Right?Now that sounds all roses and sunshine and smiley faces, don't get me wrong. But my question is: how do boys expect us to swoon over them when they don't treat us with respect, or even act like gentlemen anymore?

The reason I chose to write about this today is because I'm sick of boys not acting like gentlemen; or even showing girls respect! For example, alot of my guy friends throw around terms such as "hoe" or "skank whore" when referring to girls. I know they are being funny, but honestly do they expect to treat these females with an decency or respect when they are calling them these durogatory and offensive names? I doubt any of them would want their sisters or their moms (or maybe even their grandmothers?) to be called any of these names, so why is it ok for them to use them? I think rap music might be partially to blame for this... haha

Not to sound needy or anything, but I think I can confidently say that most girls need a guy to treat them like an actual human being, instead of some arm candy that doesn't need to talk, or just a pair of lips you'd like to make out with. These days I feel like guys have really perfected the art of not having eye contact while talking to a girl, texting or playing game apps on their phones the entire time they are hanging out with someone, and wearing clothes that are: too small, too tight, and are affiliated with ed hardy or affliction (sorry if this offends you, but if you're offended right now, please go to the nearest mall and find a new store to shop at that has your correct sizes (ie not Baby Gap) and does not sell either of the 2 aforementioned brands. Thanks!)

Since when did it go out of style for guys to have manners? Seriously, how do you guys expect us to fall for you if you don't even know how to catch us? I for one, don't want to fall flat on my face. If men expect us to swoon over them, they need to start stepping up their a-games, and fast.